I know I have been absent on my blog.
First I went away for my cousins wedding, which was lovely.
Now my Mother-in-law is in the hospital and dying. So you can see how I havent been able to blog. Please keep my Mother-in-law in your prayers. Hopefully her suffering will be over soon.
When things calm down I will continue this blog.
Sha
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
You Have to Sleep to Cope and Heal
This is a truth for any illness or disease. If you had surgery you would need lots of rest to heal. It's the same with depression and anxiety. Getting thru the day when you have these illnesses can be especially difficult. You need more energy and focus to make it thru the day, at least I do to stay happy and healthy. Getting a good nights sleep is essential to recovery. I get a lot of information from WebMd. Here's a great article on this very topic. http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-sleep-disorder
This explains it all. I want to cover this now to help you on your way to recovery or to simply remind you of this fact.
Sha :)
This explains it all. I want to cover this now to help you on your way to recovery or to simply remind you of this fact.
Sha :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Be Good to Yourself On Purpose
This is major!
I had this very long scenario ready to type and decided to keep today's message short and sweet.
Being good to yourself makes you feel good, its simple as that. Think of how you feel after you get a pedicure? Or when you cook a meal just for yourself instead of ordering take out. These are little ways that I am good to myself. These things make me happy, even for a moment and that's what our goal is. After doing a good thing for ourselves we need to realize that we did something good for ourselves. It will help you feel happy, if just in that moment, but a moment of happiness is much better than a moment of sadness.
Sha :)
I had this very long scenario ready to type and decided to keep today's message short and sweet.
Being good to yourself makes you feel good, its simple as that. Think of how you feel after you get a pedicure? Or when you cook a meal just for yourself instead of ordering take out. These are little ways that I am good to myself. These things make me happy, even for a moment and that's what our goal is. After doing a good thing for ourselves we need to realize that we did something good for ourselves. It will help you feel happy, if just in that moment, but a moment of happiness is much better than a moment of sadness.
Sha :)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Each Step is a Victory!
I love this saying! We all need to be reminded of it from time to time. Sometimes we get so caught up in the stuff we have yet to do, that we forget to celebrate the stuff we have already done.
Say you are a quilter and have decided to make a king size quilt using 5" pinwheels. That's a lot of pieces to make into pinwheels, approximately 399 pieces. No matter what, this quilt is going to take a long time to make. From the planning stage to cutting, to piecing and then to putting it all together and quilting it, it will be a lot of work, with many steps involved. At some point in that process most of us would get frustrated that it's taking 'so long' to finish. It's then that we might start dwelling on the enormous task ahead of us, which can cause anxiety. When in reality we should be celebrating what we have accomplished. Did you put 5 pinwheels together? Good for you! That's 5 less to have to make!
The way I see it there's 2 choices I can make:
1. Be anxious about what I have to do. I might say to myself "Why did I even think to make this quilt in this pinwheel pattern?" or "I just wasted $50 on fabric for this quilt that I will never be able to finish". These statements are negative thoughts and create self doubt in ourselves by questioning our plans and abilities. I am sure you will agree that these feelings are negative feelings.
2. Think about what I have accomplished. Did I get the fabric pressed and strips cut? That's two steps completed! Did I cut the fabric strips in to squares to make the pinwheels with? Yay, that's another step done! With each step I am getting closer and closer to finishing.
If the end result is to be victorious and finish the king size quilt, then shouldn't each step be a victory too? It's the steps that we have to celebrate, that keeps the positive feelings going, making us happier and probably more focused on finishing the quilt.
Sha :)
Say you are a quilter and have decided to make a king size quilt using 5" pinwheels. That's a lot of pieces to make into pinwheels, approximately 399 pieces. No matter what, this quilt is going to take a long time to make. From the planning stage to cutting, to piecing and then to putting it all together and quilting it, it will be a lot of work, with many steps involved. At some point in that process most of us would get frustrated that it's taking 'so long' to finish. It's then that we might start dwelling on the enormous task ahead of us, which can cause anxiety. When in reality we should be celebrating what we have accomplished. Did you put 5 pinwheels together? Good for you! That's 5 less to have to make!
The way I see it there's 2 choices I can make:
1. Be anxious about what I have to do. I might say to myself "Why did I even think to make this quilt in this pinwheel pattern?" or "I just wasted $50 on fabric for this quilt that I will never be able to finish". These statements are negative thoughts and create self doubt in ourselves by questioning our plans and abilities. I am sure you will agree that these feelings are negative feelings.
2. Think about what I have accomplished. Did I get the fabric pressed and strips cut? That's two steps completed! Did I cut the fabric strips in to squares to make the pinwheels with? Yay, that's another step done! With each step I am getting closer and closer to finishing.
If the end result is to be victorious and finish the king size quilt, then shouldn't each step be a victory too? It's the steps that we have to celebrate, that keeps the positive feelings going, making us happier and probably more focused on finishing the quilt.
Sha :)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Safety
Do you ever feel scared, afraid or fearful? We all do from time to time, and those of us who suffer from anxiety feel it more often. We have been talking about ways to talk back to our negative feelings. When dealing with fear we might feel overwhelmed, which makes it even harder to handle. With this simple saying you can begin to talk back to your fear and make it less intense and more manageable.
Think about this:
Right here right now I am safe.
This is another one of those 'go to' sayings of mine. My anxiety is all about fear and learning to deal with fear is a major part of my recovery. It reminds me that even though I may feel afraid the chance of being in real danger at that moment is slim. Most of the fear we feel is perceived, meaning we spend much more time worrying about being in danger than time actually being in danger. And this is a good thing. It makes us more vigilant and aware of our surroundings. But when dealing with someone who is anxious, handling that fear is different. I have had to figure out a way to prove to myself that I am indeed safe.
Personally I have trouble driving. Highways scare me, in part because I may cause an accident and in part because others might cause an accident. I think lots of us feel that way. But my fear can result in a panic attack, which is not a good thing to have, especially while driving. If I think about it, moment by moment I can prove to myself that I am safe. Even if I have a close call (someone cutting me off or almost running into me), saying this can prove to myself that I am safe.
A few weeks ago I decided to go to a quilt show in the next city. It wasn't too far, on MapQuest it said 17.7 miles from my house to the place where the quilt show was being held. So off I went, knowing that this would be the furthest I had driven myself in about 4 years. Once I got on the highway I started to get nervous and those panicky feelings started. Before I knew it I was gripping the steering wheel very tightly and my heart was beating faster. I was looking in my rear view mirror all the time and when another car got too close I was very nervous. Then I remembered that "Right here, right now I am safe". Was I scared...you bet I was, but I was in my car safely driving to the quilt show. And when I got to my destination I was both relieved to be there and off the road, but also proud of myself for making the drive alone. It was a great feeling! Yes I was nervous about the drive home, but knowing that I had made it once showed me that I can make it again. Proving this to myself helps keep the panic attacks to a minimum, which is my goal.
Next time you feel afraid try using this tool to show yourself that
Right here right now, you are safe.
Sha :)
Think about this:
Right here right now I am safe.
This is another one of those 'go to' sayings of mine. My anxiety is all about fear and learning to deal with fear is a major part of my recovery. It reminds me that even though I may feel afraid the chance of being in real danger at that moment is slim. Most of the fear we feel is perceived, meaning we spend much more time worrying about being in danger than time actually being in danger. And this is a good thing. It makes us more vigilant and aware of our surroundings. But when dealing with someone who is anxious, handling that fear is different. I have had to figure out a way to prove to myself that I am indeed safe.
Personally I have trouble driving. Highways scare me, in part because I may cause an accident and in part because others might cause an accident. I think lots of us feel that way. But my fear can result in a panic attack, which is not a good thing to have, especially while driving. If I think about it, moment by moment I can prove to myself that I am safe. Even if I have a close call (someone cutting me off or almost running into me), saying this can prove to myself that I am safe.
A few weeks ago I decided to go to a quilt show in the next city. It wasn't too far, on MapQuest it said 17.7 miles from my house to the place where the quilt show was being held. So off I went, knowing that this would be the furthest I had driven myself in about 4 years. Once I got on the highway I started to get nervous and those panicky feelings started. Before I knew it I was gripping the steering wheel very tightly and my heart was beating faster. I was looking in my rear view mirror all the time and when another car got too close I was very nervous. Then I remembered that "Right here, right now I am safe". Was I scared...you bet I was, but I was in my car safely driving to the quilt show. And when I got to my destination I was both relieved to be there and off the road, but also proud of myself for making the drive alone. It was a great feeling! Yes I was nervous about the drive home, but knowing that I had made it once showed me that I can make it again. Proving this to myself helps keep the panic attacks to a minimum, which is my goal.
Next time you feel afraid try using this tool to show yourself that
Right here right now, you are safe.
Sha :)
Monday, May 23, 2011
What gets you out of a bad mood?
This past weekend my house was full of kids and their friends. Even though I love having them around, that’s usually a lot of stimulation which makes me feel anxious. This happens every time the house is full (that’s one of the drawbacks of being an empty nester and being home alone during the day) I like my quiet time and get cranky if I don’t get it.
Knowing this, a few weeks ago I was thinking of what gets me out of that kind of mood. You know the kind...no matter what someone says or does it gets on your nerves. Then I remembered back to the therapy group I was in. I had made a playlist of my 'happy' songs and shared it with everyone in the group a copy. These songs ranged from show tunes (Put on a Happy Face) to oldies (Your the inspiration by Chicago, which was also our wedding song) to some modern music. The list was just like me, I like lots of different things and hate being pigeon holed. When I remembered that I immediately made a new Happy playlist and started playing it all the time. And before long I started feeling better. I was singing, and dancing around like a teenager again, plus added with sewing/quilting I was one happy camper.
So what I want you to think about is what makes you happy? What is the one thing that brings a smile to your face? It can be a song, a drawing, taking a hot bath, going for a walk or gardening, anything that makes you smile. Because when we smile it brightens our day.
And I would love to know what songs would be on your Happy playlist.
Sha :)
Knowing this, a few weeks ago I was thinking of what gets me out of that kind of mood. You know the kind...no matter what someone says or does it gets on your nerves. Then I remembered back to the therapy group I was in. I had made a playlist of my 'happy' songs and shared it with everyone in the group a copy. These songs ranged from show tunes (Put on a Happy Face) to oldies (Your the inspiration by Chicago, which was also our wedding song) to some modern music. The list was just like me, I like lots of different things and hate being pigeon holed. When I remembered that I immediately made a new Happy playlist and started playing it all the time. And before long I started feeling better. I was singing, and dancing around like a teenager again, plus added with sewing/quilting I was one happy camper.
So what I want you to think about is what makes you happy? What is the one thing that brings a smile to your face? It can be a song, a drawing, taking a hot bath, going for a walk or gardening, anything that makes you smile. Because when we smile it brightens our day.
And I would love to know what songs would be on your Happy playlist.
Sha :)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Ask what's going right in your life
Sometime in May was National Depression Week, depending on what web site you looked at it might have been the 1st – 7th or this past week. Either way, depression is an important topic to talk about.
Since I am not a mental health professional and am just sharing with you things that have helped me deal with my depression and anxiety, I am not going to go over the signs of depression. If you think you may be suffering from depression or anxiety, I encourage you to write a list of your feelings and thoughts and take them to your doctor to discuss it. I also get some good information from WebMd.
Today’s topic:
Ask what is going right in your life. It is human nature to dwell on the negative stuff instead of the positive stuff. I am a ‘fixer’ and want to fix all the negative stuff, big or small, my problems or someone else’s. If I don’t at least think about fixing a problem I start to feel helpless, which is not a good feeling to have. So I try to fix fix fix. This just reinforces what’s not going good in our lives. When we ask ourselves what’s going well for us, it reinforces the good stuff and brings it to the forefront of our minds, which is a great place to be. If you ask yourself the right questions it will lead to a happier day.
Here’s an exercise to get your started and prove that you have more good than bad in your life. Try this:
At least once a day take out a piece of paper and write what your problems are. Big or small it doesn’t matter; remember there’s no right or wrong answers. Then below that start to write what’s good in your life. It can be anything, having a job, feeling good physically, talking to an old or new friend, whatever you have that’s positive in your life. Don’t be shy; write every little thing you can think of. Now which part is bigger? When I do this I always have more on in the good part than bad. It seems like a silly thing to do, but it’s all about teaching ourselves to think differently and to talk back to the depression. After a few days you will have taught yourself to think about your blessings differently. Those blessings, no matter how small they may seem, are what we should be thinking about more than the negative stuff. Once you train yourself to think this way you will be happier, which is what the goal is. And when you ask yourself what's right in your life the answers will come easier. This would be a great exercise to do in your journal if you have started journaling. Let me know if you have tried this and if it has worked.
Sha J
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