Tomorrow I leave for Houston. I am attending Fall Market and I am so stinkin excited! But I am also very nervous. My anxiety level has been higher than normal, I went thru about 18 months with out any panic attacks so this is concerning. I did go to my doctor and she is changing my meds a bit, slowly this time. I refuse to have to go in-house again for a medicine adjustment.
Knowing that I have been having panic attacks lately and knowing that I am going away with out my husband who is my anchor, I am very worried about having a panic attack at Market. I will be there with friends, so I know I will be safe (safety is one of my 'issues') so that's not whats bothering me. I just don't want to cause a commotion by having a panic attack. My attacks can be anywhere from getting dizzy and lightheaded to looking like a heart attack. What I want to be able to do is handle these attacks one my own, although I will grab a friend if I need to. However I am not planning on having an attack, I know my triggers and too much stimulation is one of them so there is a distinct possibility that I will have one.
So what should I do? I am a planner, which can drive people crazy, but I have come to understand that planning is one way to feel safe. Last week in Therapy we talked about this very subject and came up with a plan of action if this does happen.
1. I will find a 'quiet' place to sit. These big places have great hiding places sometimes, but there's always the ladies room. I will find my place when we get there so that will be planned too.
2. I will have my Ipod with me, music calms me down so listening to some music will be helpful. My Ipod is just a 2G one (its very old, but I love it) so my playlists are limited. I have Taylor Swift, Keith Urban and a ton of Glee songs...yes that's right I am a total Gleek!
3. If that doesn't do the job I have an 'emergency' medicine I can take, but that is a last resort for me. Part of recovering is learning to handle these attacks on my own with tools I have learned and not pop a pill. But I will if I have to.
That's my plan. Do you have one? Do you know your signs of a panic attack? Everyone is different. I suggest that you think about this and make a plan that will work for you. Especially if you are attending a big event like what I am going to tomorrow. Write it down if you need to.
I hope you do this, even if you don't ever plan on going anywhere like this. If you suffer from anxiety then you never know when an attack might hit. This will help.
If you are working in the Feeling Good Handbook, how are you doing? Have you finished the homework yet? Sunday I will post the next assignment.